I’ve been thinking Thursday: Hedging my Bets

I teach. This is not new news to you, I am sure.

I teach at a weird cooperative school where 75% of the students are non neuro typical. Lots of ADHD. Lots of ASD. Anxiety. Dyslexia. Dysgraphia.

And most of those are 2E.

Add in hormones and it’s a mad, mad zoo. But I love it.

Our current lease is likely not going to be renewed next year. Changes at our venue. They took two classrooms away this year, one literally the day school started. (Yes, we have a signed contract, no, they do not honor it.) Anyway…. If they do renew our lease they are taking another classroom next year. Shrinking our offered classes by 40% in one year essentially.

I got super nervous about this. And I started the process of getting another teaching job at another small school where a number of our coop students take classes.

They offered me an array of classes.

And then I realized, I didn’t actually want to teach there. I was hedging my bets. Insulation against the huge, grieving loss I would feel if the coop closed.

I turned down the classes at the new school, proposed 3 more classes for the coop for next year, and threw myself into the search for a new location that will allow us to grow rather than slowly choking us to death.

I may end up with no where to teach next year and that will break my heart a little, maybe a lot. For me though, it’s so much better to throw myself 100% into something that is a passion even if I lose in the end, than to tepidly hedge my bets and feel nothing.

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5 thoughts on “I’ve been thinking Thursday: Hedging my Bets

  1. The great thing about all or nothing is it rarely ends up with truly nothing (other than on a gambling table) and if things do ebb, you have the opportunity and passion to build what you really want from near the beginning again. Much better than mediocrity for the ages.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Love your process and choice. Safe, emotionally or otherwise, is just a word and misleading since we cannot control the outcome, only our path. Choosing to feel is such an honest way to live.

    Liked by 1 person

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