Wednesday Writer’s Cafe 6/15

So my regular Wednesday night baby sitter, is gone for the summer. slaps forehead.

This means I get to take my kiddo to Writer’s Cafe. sigh. There are worse things. But it makes everything more complicated.

This last weekend was Maple Valley Days. I manned a booth for an insane 27 hours over the course of three days. I sold two books. Possibly the worst ROI ever. LOL. It wasn’t just me though. It was like we were the black hole booth. No one wanted to stop at us. Or if they did, in response to our opening, “We’re a cooperative of seven locals authors, we’ve either written or read everything on the table so let us know if you have any questions,” we heard “I haven’t heard of any of these authors.” um, gee, I heard Stephen King, J.K. Rowling and James Patterson declined to attend this year, sorry to disappoint you. LOL

Oh well, chalk it up to a learning experience and move on.

In the cool stuff category, I just got an email from a publisher asking if I want to review an early galley of an upcoming book by an author I had previous reviewed on the blog. How cool is that?


I’ve decided to report on my stated 2016 goals each Wednesday at cafe for a little prod of accountability.

– Participate in one flash fiction challenge per month.

√ um….June isn’t over yet right? right.

– Prepare and teach “Nano to Publish”.

√ Rolling, rolling, rolling.

– Any time I am not actively working on my 2015 Nano Novel, write 2500 words per week on my spy novel until it is done. (After four years, it’s time to put this mess to bed.)

-A hop, skip, and jump from being done, baby, done. I would like 3-4 authors who would like to give author beta. Contact me if you’re interested.

Non writing goals

– Prepare and teach two classes at the coop for the 2016-2017 school year.

√ I ordered some book from the library so I can start  developing that geography class. Does that count? LOL

– Take better care of my body, ie. stop compulsively painting, crocheting, and writing until my back or shoulder is so tore I can barely use either.

√ Check, Check.

– yoga daily.

√ er not so check. I got off schedule on my trip to Cali but I’m working back around to normal.

Shameless Advertising

Just a quick reminder if you’re local to the Seattle area, FreeValley Publishing is hanging out at the Maple Valley Days Festival all weekend long. I took a quick tour today and there are some fun vendors, interesting food, live music, and a carnival. And of course, writers. Come out and see us.

Wednesday Writer’s No Cafe 6/8

I’m bacccckkkkk. Yes I have returned from the land of sun. It was hot. Not like I think I could wear a skirt today and not have goose bumps hot, but dear god I need water and is that really triple digits hot. For a break, I took the kiddo to SF for a day, tried to convince him he really did need his coat despite the fact that it was 92 at 10 in the morning at Opa’s house. He didn’t believe me. Guess who walked across the Golden Gate Bridge in mommy’s sweater with his teeth chattering? Yeah.

Anyway, I am once again not at Cafe. This is getting ridiculous. I am at yet another board meeting, this one to placate the membership who is angry the county has imposed new regulations on us. Somehow the membership thinks this is all the board’s fault. Sigh. Right.

I managed only a bit of writing on the road trip, big surprise there. But I am committing right now to you my semi loyal readers, I will finish my spy novel by the end of June. Since I need a new critique partner, I will be going straight to a beta style of edits. Who wants first pass?

If you’re local to the Seattle area and looking for something fun to do this weekend, FreeValley Publishing will be hosting a booth at the Maple Valley Days Festival. Stop by and see us; bored writers are dangerous, we might write more.

Fiendish Friday: Cards Against Humanity

I’m traveling with the kiddo. Every year around this time we make the rounds, visiting family for our niece’s birthday, then seeing friends from when we used to live in California. Sometimes we tie it all up with a trip to Park City, Utah (more friends) before we head home. We’re skipping Park City this year for a couple of reasons, but largely because I need to be back home in time to get my cruddle together for Maple Valley Days. FreeValley Publishing, the author cooperative I joined this year, has a booth at the festival, and I’m working it.

So first stop on our trip was at my friend Missy’s. She lives by Sac and I can make it to her place in one shot, twelve hours, driving. Yes the kiddo can car trip that long, it’s amazing what unlimited DVD, video game time, and snacks will make possible. LOL. Missy has slightly older kids. They’re pretty self sufficient and they absorb mine into the fold when we get there. It’s as close as it comes for me, to two days without a kiddo. Generally we drink too much and hang out in the pool. We play Phase Ten when the sun goes down and drink some more. We cook. We eat. We usually end up clothes shopping, such a cliché, but I really like a store by her house and we don’t have one where I live.

This year Missy and co introduced me to Cards Against Humanity. You thought I forgot didn’t you? LOL. I have no idea how I managed not to play this game before. I’d heard of it’s existence. It just never happened. Well now it did. We laughed our asses off. And I have to say being a writer really helps in that game. So does a number of Moscow Mules. I love the fact that the game encourages you to be dirty. I am always at my funniest just on the verge of being inappropriate. Or maybe I’m deluded and I’m way over the edge.

So back to how being a writer helps: The card read out loud was….I got referred to HR for a situation involving (blank), (Blank), and allegedly (Blank).

I had a number of options in my hand and ultimately chose the following cards. The Care Bear Stare, Sean Penn, and 3 penises at once.

Now how would you fill in those blanks?

Uh huh. Think about it.carebear

I chose: I got referred to HR for a situation involving Sean Penn, 3 penises at once, and allegedly the Care Bear Stare.

Seriously, I almost made someone pee their pants laughing with that. You can’t prove the Care Bear Stare. You can’t. Some things are too much to admit.

What’s your fave Cards Against Humanity win?