Yes, you. The lovely soccer mom driving the monster Escalade through a crowded Saturday afternoon parking lot with her face glued to her cell phone. I know you didn’t see me, hello all you saw was your cell phone. But that was me, jumping back to keep from getting run over by you. I have just one thing to say to you….

Please tell me you were looking at pictures of a naked Chris Pine from Wonder Woman.

I hate to think my life is only worth a boring old text telling you not to forget the milk….