I love a comment Anderson makes in the colon chapter. “When I imitate other writer’s sentences, trying on their style, I don’t use the same content as the writer. I try their structure or the way they put their sentence together.”

Let’s play with the sentence from Hiaasen yesterday.

_____ told me to empty my _____:______, _______, and ______.

The TSA agent told me to empty my bag: my kindle, my laptop, and a sippy cup of water.

Use the sentence to free write a 100 word short.

The TSA agent told me to empty my bag: my kindle, my laptop, and a sippy cup of water. No wonder I set off the bells and whistles. The agent takes the water over to a special machine which analyses the content. She clears the contents of danger and returned the sippy cup to my kiddo. I apologized profusely for forgetting the water was in the bottom of the bag but the agent was quite tetchy with me. I stepped to the side to wait for my husband who once again was being checked for explosives. Every time he flew. I wondered for the 100th time about the nature of random.

Reexamine your 100 words for where you can add more detail.

The TSA agent told me to empty my bag: my kindle, my laptop, and a sippy cup of water. No wonder I set off the bells and whistles. The agent took the water over to a special machine which analyzed the content. She cleared the contents of danger and returned the sippy cup to my kiddo. I apologized profusely for forgetting the water was in the bottom of the bag but the agent was quite tetchy with me. I stepped to the side to wait for my husband who once again was being checked for explosives. Every time he flew. I wondered for the 100th time about the nature of random.

Eh, I fixed a few tense issues but my brain refuses to find anywhere to add stuff. hrm….

Post your own examples in the comments if you like.

Colons. Say What?

According to Jeff Anderson in Everyday Editing, colons:

-can introduce lists. (ahhhh)

-colons emphasize to the reader that something important will follow.

-A colon can also introduce a complete sentence.

Don’t confuse the semicolon with the colon. The semicolon is used to join separate sentences we want to join without a coordinating conjunction.

Examples from Anderson.

Reluctantly, one by one, Hugo pulled out dozens of objects: screws and nails and bits of metal, gears and crumpled playing cards, tiny pieces of clockworks, cogs, and wheels. -Brian Selznick, The Invention of Hugo Cabret

Before I do anything else, I need to go back over everything that has happened this summer: the Big Mistake, the old man, the book, the lamp, the telescope, and this box, which started it all. -Wendy Mass, Jeremy Fink and the Meaning of Life

The deputy told me to empty my pockets: two quarters, a penny, a stick of bubble gum, and a roll of grip tape for my skateboard. -Carl Hiaasen, Flush

A dash can do the same job as a colon. You can use a dash whenever you please, there are not the same rules that surround the colon.

Tune in tomorrow for some exercises surrounding the colon.