Category: Lessons Learned About Writing

Weekend Workshop Saturday Edition – New Text

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Good morning. At my husband’s urging I have started reading Everyday Editing by Jeff Anderson. It seemed apropos given I am in the middle of a second edit with my novel. Every spare moment we can sneak away from our kiddo, I am reading my novel out loud to my long suffering hubby who kindly argues with me and every grammatical question, comma placement, and stylistic gamble I make. You can’t hire that level of involvement.

We’ve all heard seven thousand times it’s not writing that makes it a novel, but rewriting. And yet how do we effectively rewrite something we created from nothing, our own blood and energy?

I’ve read about half the book so far and it seems like Anderson has an idea or two that might just help me. Maybe you too? The book is designed for teachers/workshop leaders looking for a way to effectively bring editing/rewriting into the writing process and make it less dreaded. Some thoughts from Anderson more or less.

  • Correcting doesn’t develop skills, it corrects. – My poor husband corrected every paper I wrote in college and still I make the same mistakes in my novels.
  • Part of editing is listening to our writing, making it feel right. – thus explaining why someone else can not edit for you.
  • Great writers are great readers. Make a regular habit of spending time reading great sentences and talking about them.
  • Editing instruction starts with observing how powerful texts work.
  • People absorb what they see.
  • Editing is about looking inside what writers do and figuring out what works and what does not.

I’ll leave you with a final thought from Anderson…if you are writing, then all is good.

I will break down the learning portion of the book and present them over the coming weeks.

Weekend Workshop Saturday Edition

~ tahenryauthoress ~ 2 Comments

Most of Chapter 12 from Story Sense by Paul Lucey is not terribly applicable to novels, however, I found his commentary on pitching brilliant.

Believe in the wonderfulness of your work. 

Whew, that might be the hardest part.

-Practice, practice, practice. Pitch to your friends, videotape yourself and watch it, have a friend pitch your pitch to you. You can not practice too much.

-Be on time. Dress professionally. Do not waste the buyer’s time, but be tolerant of interruptions on the buyer’s end.

-Do not sound apologetic or self-deprecating. Do not mumble. Maintain eye contact.

-Do your best to tell the story dramatically. Do not read from a prepared page, be a storyteller.

-Describe the plot arc, the problem, the characters and their motivations.

-The story should end cleanly, unless you’re pitching a series. Then explain where you plan to take book 2, 3, 4, etc.

-Suggest a target audience. A genre this might with.

-Do it all in 2 minutes or less. (Also, consider prepping the twenty second elevator version, which you use to garner a formal pitching meeting with an agent or editor or you use when someone asks what you write.)

-If they aren’t interested, be polite and gracious (you may be pitching in front of them again). They aren’t rejecting you, they just aren’t interested in the particular story you have for them today. Rejection is part of writing.

-Note their comments, you might use them to rewrite or polish your work. But don’t buy everything they say wholesale. Give it proper consideration. Your work is a reflection of the story you want to tell. Be true to it.

-At the very least, you have gone to battle and survived. The next time around should be a little easier.

Tomorrow: my pitch, sort of.

Weekend Workshop: Sunday Edition

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I didn’t like the scene Lucey wanted me to rewrite for Chapter 11 of Story Sense. If you’re interested it’s about immigrants moving across America on a train. Bleh.

Instead I spent some time rewriting my own novel, the one I am aiming to publish this year, in about oh 6 weeks. Gulp.

I have 4 sets of Beta feedback. Three give some measure of major issues wrong. One is a full line edit. I am combining each of these with my work. So I read word for word the line edits while double checking the other three for their comments on a particular chapter. It takes a varying amount of time. Some chapters fly by in half an hour. Some take eons. At the same time I catch little mistakes that even my line editor missed. LOL. I’m about 31 chapters in, if you’re wondering.

All of this has given me a weird problem. Everyone seems to really like the book. um….It’s my first novel. Everything I have read has prepared me for my first novel to suck. To need major rework before I could even consider publication and yet….

Should I just file this under first world author problems and shut up you bleep bleep or….do I need more critical beta readers? Thoughts?

Weekend Workshop Saturday Edition

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Thanks for tuning in after my weekend off. In the mean time I have skimmed through Chapter 8: Writing for the Camera, Chapter 9: Writing Stage Directions, and Chapter 10: Script Format. I have decided to skip all three chapters here as they are very specific to script writing for film and television and this is very definitely about writing novels. So onto Chapter 11: Rewriting from Story Sense by Paul Lucey.

I am sure most people have heard for the first 100 pages an editor/agent is looking for a reason to say no, after that they are looking for a reason to say yes. Which means as writers we have to spot the weaknesses in our work and rewrite in until they hang in there to page 101. Novels are not written, they are rewritten.

Seek critics who want to help you more than they want to please you. You want your beta readers to be honest, not gloss over the yucks and emphasize the positives. You want the opposite. You want someone who wants you to write the best novel you can and will be unfailingly honest about everything they see.

Is there excessive or repetitive dialogue? Is your dialogue sharp and witty?

Do all the characters serve a purpose in the story?

Do you have thoughtful content about something or is it feel good entertainment? There’s nothing wrong with either direction but it helps to know who you are trying to appeal to.

Is the conflict productive, moving the plot and prizing secrets from the characters?

Chances are if you were intrigued enough by your story idea to spend weeks or months (dare I say years?) working it into a novel, other people will be intrigued too. Stop flitting from idea to idea and devote yourself; time, energy, and passion, into the work. It shows.

If your characters are boring, give them something to work with. Get to know them better. Give them the flaw that makes you hate your mother in law or love your best friend.

Is the story boring? Did you over explain? Are you telling or showing?

Are your characters predictable, known, stereotypes? Are you trying so hard to do the opposite of a stereotype that you become a predictable stereotype anyway?

If nothing is working….take it apart, down to the nuts and bolts if you must, down to chapters, down to separate scenes in chapters. Then throw out what is troublesome and put whats left back together with scenes that work. It’s a ton of work, but if your story idea is really important to you, invest the time and trouble.

In the end, someone will always be a naysayer. Someone will tell you it can’t be done. You can’t do it because x, y, z. And you’ll be tempted to give them some example where it has been done. Don’t bother. Save that witty repartee for your novel.

After all, if living well is the best revenge, then publishing is the best stinging comeback.

Weekend Workshop Sunday Edition

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The exercises from Chapter Seven of Story Sense, Paul Lucey.

Written regarding NCIS, Season 5, Episode 1.

1. Analyze in terms of the dramatizing strategies discussed in this chapter. Note when each convention appears and briefly describe its nature and purpose.

coincidence: Jeanna’s father picks Tony and Jeane up at the hospital. Rene is also a catalyst (he’s the frog).

coincidence: Abby finds the search results the director tried to erase.

reveal: the director tells the team the woman tony has been seeing is the frog’s daughter.

obstacles: can’t get satellite coverage.

reversal: the bad news: no coverage, good news – traffic cameras catch him. back to bad: Catalyst- Tony’s car blows up.

misunderstanding: the whole team thinks Tony is dead. (We know he isn’t because he’s still in the show seven seasons from now.)

contrast: Abby refuses to believe it is Tony until Ducky says so.

reveal: Abby tells Gibbs the prints on the bottle and glass are the director’s father.

undeserved suffering: someone is going to great lengths to convince the director her father’s alive

reveal: the director thinks the frog killed her father

coincidence: Ziva identifies the limo on the camera feedback-was Tony following it.

misunderstanding: Palmer doesn’t get why Ducky is so taken my the minimal lung scarring. Leads to catalyst/reveal-the dead man is not Tony (plague)

catalyst: Cort shows up demanding Tony. (CIA)

false alarm/reversal: Cort tries to choke information out of Tony, only to find himself facing multiple guns

reveal: Tony explains what happened in the morning (surprise meet the parents). The frog had known for months that Tony was undercover. He forces Tony into the limo and takes both cell phones. The car blows up. The Frog thinks he was the target. Tony wonders if he was the target. Tony is angry because Jeanne knows the truth now. The Frog wants out, he’s going to call and arrange a meeting, because he trusts NCIS.

catalyst/coincidence: who bombed Tony. Jeanne is the target

coincidence and contrast: the frog is in the director’s study.

catalyst: Gibbs shows up in the house.

reveal: the frog paid the director’s father the bribe

reveal: Gibbs tells the director the gun is not loaded.

reveal: flashback. Tony tells Jeanne who he really is.

the false alarm: the team is searching the yacht, guns drawn. But the frog is not there.

superiority: as the team walks away the audience gets to see the frog floating in the water with a bullet in his head.

2. Time the speeches and scenes in the show analyzed. Note whether the speeches end abruptly or linger. Note whether they use transitional visuals that show characters traveling from one location to another or whether the action cuts directly from scene to scene.

Multiple jump cuts per shot.

most speech is clipped and short. back and forth, snappy dialogue.

3. Examine how the film uses conflict to dramatize the story. What causes and intensifies the conflict? How does the conflict relate to the problem? How are the problem and the conflict resolved?

Constant conflict between the characters, the other agencies, and the good vs bad guys. In this show, the possible death of one of their own causes conflict with the CIA and between the characters on an emotional level. Tony is not dead, but the frog is. the problem really doesn’t resolve in this episode. Nor does the emotional conflict. Tony is heartbroken over Jeanne. The director is distraught over her father. Gibbs is in a position not to trust the director. Everyone is pissy.

Weekend Workshop Saturday Edition

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Still on my trip, slow baking in the heat, but never the less, I present for your edification Chapter Seven of Story Sense by Paul Lucey, Dramatization.

Drama is the intensification of the emotion you hope to inspire in your reader. You do this by making situations more desperate, more dangerous, more impossible, just more.

The dramatic engine is the most potent of all dramatizing strategies because it motivates the characters, determines action, dictates momentum, controls the intensity of the story, and focuses the drama. There are many engines available.

-The problem as engine: a dramatic problem that pulls opposing forces into conflict over how the issue will resolve.

-The villain as the engine: a powerful antagonist who creates desperate conflict.

-The hero as engine: the protagonist(s) is given a need, a task, or a situation that energizes them or forces them to take action.

-The system as the engine: an organization or a group that serves or corporate on institutional agenda. sinister. the hero will need to expose them.

-A force of nature as the engine: extraordinary natural force (think Jurassic Park, Outbreak, Alien)

-A Task or Quest as the Engine: challenges the hero to achieve a difficult goal or complete an impossible task. Closely bound to the dramatic problem. Encourages the writer to aggravate the problem so that it drives the story.

-The conventions or circumstances of the story as engine: certain genres come with a built in engine. Courtroom dramas, romances, crime stories.

Inventiveness and Engineering

Creatively insert anything you need into the world you have built but be sure to follow the rules you have set once you have set them. Research. Be patient. Keep working it over until it works.

Simple dramatic strategies:

-Obstacles: a character attempts something and is blocked or defeated. Usually deflects the plot into a new direction.

-The Power Tool: Usually appear once or twice to be recognized and present a spike of interest. (think the Force in Star Wars)

-Undeserved Suffering: Makes an audience care about an unjustly abused character. Humanizes when done correctly. Irritates when done in a whiny manner. Often more effective when someone other than the sufferer reveals the backstory.

-Reversals: good news turns to bad news or vice versa.

-Coincidence: something unexpected intrudes and turns the story in a new direction.

-Catalyst: incident, character, or emotional state that speeds up the plot or a relationship.

-Contrast: inequality between characters and/or setting.

-McGuffin: the mysterious device that sets the story in motion.

-The secret plan: the reader doesn’t know what has been planned by the characters but knows it is coming.

-Misunderstanding: characters misinterpret or fail to comprehend the situation

-The False Alarm: character in jeopardy but the threat turns out to be empty

-The reveal: a major plot point or character development point

-Planting and Payoff: introduce a character, location, or item that will later influence the story. It should be planted so it is noticed but does not call attention to itself.

-Lifelines: often provided by the planting, which saves the hero or allows him to win

Parallelism: two similar actions that are intercut to make a single story point.

Sentimentality versus Empathy

affected or extravagant emotion, sentimentality is. It’s unearned sappiness. The situation feels less than true.

Empathy is the evoking of identification with your character by the reader because the situation feels true. Often revealing motivation will assist with this process.

To keep things dramatic you must make you reader believe in the logic of the characters and what is happening while concealing the machinations of the plot which might hinder belief. The logic should be easy to spot in hindsight but blend seamless in the first reading.

Novels are more likely to fail for being too polite, too proper, too reasonable, than too over the top. Invest your energy, passion, and time in your novel.

Weekend Workshop Sunday Edition

~ tahenryauthoress ~ 1 Comment

As usual here are the exercises that go with Chapter 6 from Story Sense by Paul Lucey.

1. Screen the first act of a film or TV show and study it for its dialogue. Note when and how the dialogue reveals backstory, theme, characters, and relationship. When does the dialogue contain subtext? What is the nature of the subtext; backstory, situation, relationships, theme, or plot? Look at the non verbal part of the dialogue. How are the actors conveying this?

Watching NCIS, Season Four Episode 23.

Dead guy found in the back of a taxi on it’s way to NCIS by the guard at the Navy Yard entrance. Shock on the guards face. Open mouthed expression.

Gibbs watching video on the war in Iraq, Cynthia reminds him the files have to be reviewed by Friday, and tomorrow is Friday. (Talks with irritation.) Gibbbs replies I had a wife like you once Cynthia. Reveals back story on Gibbs-been married before, got divorced. Further conversation, reveals where the director is. Gibbs approves files because he knows the agent, rejects when he doesn’t know them.

The director calls, Gibbs refers to the “frog” a bad guy the director has been chasing the whole season. (Backstory.)

Ducky says it’s not often we get to walk to a crime scene. (Theme of the show. Death and detection.)

Jeanne calls Tony, she wants to buy a house. He is completely freaked out. (Relationships)

Tony and McGee joke about Tony not being a a boy scout and Tony having been a frat house wet tee shirt contest scout. (Backstory and personality)

Gibbs comments on every bit of conversation that occurred ostensibly out of ear shot. (Character)

the cab drive make multiple disparaging remarks about marriage in front of Tony.

Gibbs is dodging calls from Cynthia, he does hate a nagging woman. (This is clearly a theme of the episode, fearful scary marriage with nagging women.)

Abby and Ziva compare first time sex stories. Abby’s in a cab. Ziva in a weapons carrier. (Backstory and characters)

The names on the list, most of which are dead, Tony and Ziva are to look for the living ones to find a connection.

Cynthia wants Gibbs to take a call from the Yemen embassy, the dead guy having been identified as an embassy employee.  They send an attache. Who reveals the young man was very connected.

2. I skipped this one. It wanted me to act out a scene. No thanks. I have no acting chops.

3. Write a dialogue based on the following prompt.

-A man or a woman becomes tired of waiting for his or her lover to propose marriage. An ultimatum must be delivered “Marry me or I’ll marry my friend in Texas.” The person receiving the ultimatum is shaken but refuses to be pushed.

Catching sight of Steven, Maya rode slowly over to the fence on Salem her twelve year old trail horse. “Glad to see you’re back.” She leaned down to provide a perfunctory kiss. “It felt like you were gone for months.”

Steven shook his head slightly.

“Yes months!” Maya insisted.

Clearing his throat Steven said nothing.

“Did you miss me?” Maya slid from the saddle and opened the fence.

Giving a small smile, Steven slipped his hand under Maya’s elbow.

“I knew you missed me as much as I missed you.” Maya pounced. “Did you bring me anything?”

Steven sighed.

“Perhaps something in a small blue and silver box?” Maya giggled.

Steven chortled.

Maya stopped giggling abruptly. She whirled to face Steven. “You’re never going to marry me, are you?”

Steven sighed heavily.

“If you don’t want to marry me, just say so. I can always marry my friend in Texas.”

“That might be for the best.” Steven’s voice remained even.

“How could you say that? Don’t you love me?” Maya demanded.

Steven sighed heavily again and very quietly under his breath replied, “Not so much.”

Maya pretended not to hear him. “I’m serious, if you don’t marry me soon, I’ll go to Texas.”

Steven opened the door and gently propelled Maya in from where she had been enjoying some yard time. It was like this every day with her. He scanned her bracelet and walked her over to the group therapy room. Steven wondered why they bothered with this one, it wouldn’t do her any good. It never had, all these years, not one bit.

Weekend Workshop Saturday Edition

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Good morning my fellow writers and readers! This Saturday I’ll summarize Chapter 6 from Story Sense by Paul Lucey.

Chapter Six: Dialogue and Character

As I have stated before some of Lucey’s points really only apply to scripts but some advice translates no matter what format your are writing in.

-Characters should say things that advance the story while revealing a little about who they are.

-One way to work on dialogue is to listen to what people say and how they say it while speaking in real life. Be alert to accents, emotional content, tension, rhythms, and the unspoken subtext behind the spoken words.

-Be careful how much your dialogue is visible. How much does it call attention to its own cleverness which will take the reader out of the story? Flowery language, wise sayings, word plays, puns, metaphors are examples that might break a reader from the story.

-If you wish to avoid swearing (and Lucey highly advises it), play around with inventing a language style that implies things negatively without leaning on standard cuss words or derogatory terms. You old barnacle buffer.

-Strip your dialogue of conventional conversational chaff like ah, uh, um, you know, and well, like.

-The strongest punch to the statement should come at the end.

-Watch your background dumping disguised as conversation. Too many names, dates, and places at once bump the reader from the story. Marble your exposition, trickle it in.

-Situations with drama, positive personal chemistry, time pressure, or negative personal chemistry should have dialogue filled with subtext that reflects the situation. It should not explain everything, but should instead create shadows and mystery.

-A particular way of speaking reveals a lot about a character. The writer must understand the characters back story and demonstrate this content through the speech and behavioral patterns. Characters are revealed by what they say and how they say it, by life experiences that are revealed through action and dialogue, and by values that are expressed through action as characters meet the challenges of the plot.

-Sluggish dialogue stops the story as it dawdles over petty details and does not present conflict, subtext, or drama that connects to the characters emotionally.

-Strategies are meant as path markers as writers stumble along in an effort to know the truth of their characters so well the characters are alive and multi level dialogue occurs naturally from the characters and reflects their emotions rather than the writers.

Heavy thought, that. Allow the characters space to be themselves. Sort of like having kids, you have to shape them gently but ultimately allow them the space to figure out who they want to be.

Weekend Workshop Sunday Edition

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Story Sense, by Paul Lucey, Chapter 5 Exercises. CBS-Loses-10-NCIS-Death-Lawsuit (2)

In keeping with the chapter this week, these exercises are all about characters and considering their psychological imperatives. The assignment was to select a male and a female character and figure what makes them tick. Based on my current binge watching of NCIS before bed at night, I have chosen, Leroy Jethro Gibbs and Ziva David. (I seriously considered Abby Shiuto, but I feel like her back story is severely limited and I would be pressed to invent answers to many of these questions. Although that might have been fun, it would have defeated the purpose.)

1. What created the psychological imperatives that drive the two characters? What is the nature of each character’s short term trauma or long term conditioning?

I feel like both of them are driven by a powerful need to do the right thing at all times to compensate for when they have done the “wrong thing” in the past. I quote wrong thing because it all depends on your point of view. Gibbs is still living with the trauma of losing his wife and daughter and the murder he committed in revenge. Ziva was conditioned to put Israel and family first and was forced to kill her brother, Ari to prevent greater disasters. There is an additional emotional imperative driving Ziva which is more complicated. She seems to be desperate to have Gibbs acknowledge her as more than just another member of his team. She needs to be special to him. A replacement father for the one she betrayed by killing Ari.

2. How is the imperative displayed by the characters?

Gibbs has a long list of very specific rules which govern his world. He does not make these rules easily accessible, but instead forces his team to learn by example, thereby justifying his continued necessity in the world. (he has only NCIS). When Gibbs is in the hospital with amnesia, Ziva is the only member of the team who breaks the directors orders to go see him and what she choses to try to get him to remember her is the death of Ari. She is desperate to have her sacrifice appreciated.

3. Assign sociological influences and life experiences that might have affected the characters.

Gibbs-small town upbringing, military service as a Marine, multiple combat theaters, military life, purple heart, death of wife and daughter, 15 years at NCIS, several in service overseas and undercover.

Ziva- Israeli, lost sister to Hamas bombing, raised by Mossad, member of Mossad, service undercover and in multiple countries, incredibly well honed killing machine.

4. What are the characters most afraid of? How does the psychological imperative create needs in the characters?

Gibbs is most afraid of losing someone he cares about, again. He therefore insulates himself to care only about those he works with, an interesting proposition because they are both more likely to be lost due to the nature of their work and more likely to survive if he trains them well enough. This creates his need to train them to perfection.

Ziva is afraid she will have to kill someone she knows/cares about again. She is essentially afraid she cannot trust others. As a result she needs the people she perceives as most trust worthy to trust her.

5. Are the characters pursuing what they need or what they want? Explain.

Ziva-doesn’t know what she wants. She operates on a very basic level for the most part. She has pulled in her head like a turtle in response to the traumas she has seen or done and simply lives on autopilot. She admits little in the way of feelings. But she is learning and adapting, which is what she needs to do if she does not want to be a cold assassin her whole life.

Gibbs-pursuing what he wants. He needs therapy to deal with the death of his wife and daughter, and the death sentence he carried out on the perpetrator without the benefit of judge and jury. But therapy would change Gibbs, which would change the show. So let’s be happy he continues to compulsively work and drink to drown his sorrows otherwise who would protect Ziva, Tony, McGee, Abby, Ducky, the navy, the marines, the world at large. 🙂