Fiendish Friday: Undone

~ tahenryauthoress ~ 9 Comments

I’m really hoping that when this post is published I will be hit with an onslaught of readers who tell me this isn’t silly at all, that every one who reads feels this way. But I ain’t too sure…

So here it is, I cannot leave a book unfinished. Even if I hate it. Even if it is written in the most convoluted ugly prose ever. Even if it is full of misspellings and grammatic errors the size of the grand canyon. Even if there are plot holes big enough for Pluto to fall through and put an end to this whole planet/not a planet bull. I can’t, I can’t put it down and walk away.

It’s like they call to me. “Come back, I know I’m the worst friend you ever had but you won’t know what happens if you don’t keep reading.”

And that’s how they lure me back in. I have to know. No, seriously, I HAVE TO KNOW.

I cannot sleep at night unless I know how every story turns out. And books are the worst. Maybe because they are my oldest friends. I need to know each one inside and out so I can put the relationship in proper perspective.

But I did it, finally, recently, I returned a book to the library unfinished. It hurt. A lot.

Behold, the miracle, I left a book undone.

So tell me, am I alone in this compulsion?

Wednesday Writer’s Cafe – 2/3

~ tahenryauthoress ~ 1 Comment

Cafe is preempted because I am in Portland with the kiddo, G, and her kiddo M. This trip was planned for last month but the stomach flu derailed our plans. So we went this week.

We left Tuesday after Lego class for my kiddo and Pilates for G, she is in wicked good shape. First stop was the Mount St. Helens Volcano Museum. We’re home schoolers, every trip must include some education. LOL

Of course when we got there it was closed. Yep, even though the website says open 9-5 daily, daily no longer includes Tuesday and Wednesday. So we took a short hike to let the boys get the wiggles out. Onto Portland.

Checked into our hotel, got rooms right next door to each other, nice accommodating hotel. Lemon verbena soap. Headed out for sushi at Bamboo sushi. Tasty. Kiddo was mad his California roll didn’t have fish roe on it. Sigh. But a trip to Powell’s made everything better, 80 dollars later…but I found some sets of books that are like Bob books, but star wars. Score!

Flight Museum at McMinnville. They have the spruce goose. I saw it in long beach when I was a kiddo so it was cool to take my son now. We ponied up the small amount of extra duckets to take a private cockpit tour. We caught the fighter pilot documentary as well, all about red flag at Nellis. Very cool. In between we kept popping out to the car to enjoy the bounty of tasty treats we picked up from kyra’s bakery on our drive out. Totally gluten free facility, heavenly taste. Cupcakes, cinnamon rolls, sammies, quiche. Hard to say what was the best although the raspberry cheesecake I’m nibbling right now might be winning.

Tomorrow we hit the Oregon science museum, sub tour, and a few paleo food trucks before we head back home.

I’ve decided to report on my stated 2016 goals each Wednesday at cafe for a little prod of accountability.

– Research marketing locations for the next free giveaway for Scripting the Truth. Figure out the Reddit problem. Fine tune my marketing strategy.

√ working on it. I really need more reviews, hence my new give away on offer. Review Scripting the Truth and get an e-copy of my murder mystery free when I publish it later this year.

– Write 2500 plus words per week on my 2015 Nano novel til completion. (Only another 5-6 weeks to go on that, I think.)

√ done until I get my first critique back.

– Participate in one flash fiction challenge per month.

√ it’s February. Another sorry will appear soon.

– Prepare and teach “Nano to Publish”.

√ I suppose I should get started on the February class, lol.

– Edit my 2015 Nano Novel for 2016 publication.

√ Houston, we’re in a holding pattern here. First critique is out. Waiting for it to come home.

– Any time I am not actively working on my 2015 Nano Novel, write 2500 words per week on my spy novel until it is done. (After four years, it’s time to put this mess to bed.)

√ I should be working on this right now but I’m using the time to get to some other important projects of the ground.

Non writing goals

– Prepare and teach two classes at the coop for the 2016-2017 school year.

√ there’s some stuff brewing, it looks like I might be teaching much more than n to p but we’ll see how it shakes out.

– Take better care of my body, ie. stop compulsively painting, crocheting, and writing until my back or shoulder is so tore I can barely use either. Which leads me to …

√ two thumbs up.

– yoga daily.

√ made it to daily this week with one 90 minute session. I’d love to get that up to a couple of times a week.

Book Review: How to Murder a Millionaire

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I’ve been in a bit of a funk lately and when I’m unhappy I tend to retreat to what I know, to that which is comforting to me. Which means I’m rereading all my favorite books. I’ll be reviewing at least one from each series or author I adore in the coming weeks. Enjoy.

How to Murder a Millionaire is the first in the Blackbird Sisters Mystery series by Nancy Martin. I’ve read them all, many times. Martin has a fun style. She balances beautifully between so much prose that you lose the plot and a straight forward, fast paced who dun it. It’s fun to read and I bet was fun to write.

Nora Blackbird is the heroine of the series. Born into blue blood society in Philly, she finds herself in the difficult position of needing a job and being qualified to do little but party plan. She begs herself a job as a society reporter for a newspaper. Attending all the parties and events she used to attend before her husband was shot by his drug dealer and her parents ran off to another country owing everyone money, Nora manages to hold her head high and mostly pay her own bills. Unfortunately she keeps finding dead bodies. And fortunately, she keeps investigating the murders.

There is a smoking hot love interest. The best kind of course. A bad boy who reformed himself before she meets him, so she gets the best of both worlds. Nora won’t marry him because all the men Blackbird sisters marry die. In fact by the end of the first book, all the sisters are widows, one of them a widow twice over. So there’s that bit of entertainment as well.

℘℘℘℘℘ – Five Pages. I love this series. It’s funny, nicely plotted, and an easy read. A who doesn’t love a heroine who wears her grandmother’s couture, mixing it with Target knock offs.

 

Weekend Workshop: Critique

~ tahenryauthoress ~ 1 Comment

I touched briefly on this last weekend but critiquing someone else’s work is such a huge part of the self publishing milieu these days. If you aren’t willing to critique someone else, chances are they aren’t going to help you. And we all need the help when we’re wearing 47 different hats in the pursuit of independent publishing.

When S and I were kicking around ideas for Nano to Publish we had a lot of thoughts on critique and in our infinite wisdom we decided to go to write in and ask other writers what they thought. The resulting list was born.

What is good, useful critique?

The primary goal of your editing critique should be to help the writer create the best version of their novel. By keeping this in mind, you can avoid many of the negatives that are sometimes associated with feedback, critique, dare we say criticism.

DO:

Ask if your partner has any specific concerns in mind that you could be looking for.
Be specific.
Talk about the work not the author.
Talk about things that will help them improve their work.
Note what works as well as what doesn’t.
Point out the repeated grammar or punctuation mistakes (once or twice) so the writer can learn not to do them.
Always explain why.

DO NOT:

Critique their voice until they change their voice to be your voice.
Rewrite things in exact words.
Line edit for them, unless asked to do so.

Questions to think about as you read for critique:

Are the characters relatable? Are they as likeable/detestable as they should be?
Are there any characters that don’t serve a purpose or are one dimensional?
Too much back story or not enough back story?
Are you confused at any point?
How is the pacing?
Where does the story really start?
At what point are you completely sucked in?
Are there any scenes that don’t make sense, that are out of place? Do they all drive the story forward?
Did you like the ending?
Did you feel the ending was appropriate to the story?
Would you have abandoned this book? Where and why?

When I went through this at the January Nano to Publish workshop a lot of groans happened at that last line. “That’s so harsh.” It could be. But think about this. If everyone who reads your novel prior to publication tells you only how wonderful it is, you won’t know until you publish if it’s actually any good. Imagine getting your first honest critique on Amazon in a review. That scares me more than zombies.

So tell me, did we forget anything on our list? What would you add? What do you like to see from your first pass, beta, and ARC readers?

Friday Special Surprise

~ tahenryauthoress ~ 5 Comments

Since I had Fiendish Friday on Tuesday this week I thought I would give a little bonus post. A bonus post with a bonus. Does that make this a double bonus? Bonus, Bonus.

I got the brilliant idea from a fellow author blogger to do a free give away with a twist. So here’s the deal, if you review Scripting the Truth and send me the link to your review (contact page is just fine) I will give you a free e copy of my next book (coming Fall 2016). And I’ll do it in perpetuity. Review my next book, a murder mystery, and gain a free copy of my spy novel when I publish that next year (2017). But this will only be open to those of you who start with Scripting the Truth and I think the time will be limited.

So what are you waiting for, more than 300 of you have it already.

As a side bar, Wednesday’s writer cafe was my 250th blog post. Congratulations to me.

Wednesday Writer’s Cafe 1/27

~ tahenryauthoress ~ 6 Comments

I have a serious case of the I don’t give a f*** funk, as yesterday’s post demonstrated. I am just out of sorts all over the place. I need vacation from my life. Anyone want to swap with me for a couple of weeks. My husband is pretty hot. And my son, despite being an energy drain, is really sweet. I have a well behaved cuddle bug of a dog. My friends are pretty awesome. My house is gorgeous. And I live in a stunning environment.

I know what you’re thinking? If your life is so flipping awesome, why do you want a break?

Duh, so I can appreciate it again. Absence and all that.

Anyway, bailing on write in tonight so I can get a massage which I think I need.

 

I’ve decided to report on my stated 2016 goals each Wednesday at cafe for a little prod of accountability.

– Research marketing locations for the next free giveaway for Scripting the Truth. Figure out the Reddit problem. Fine tune my categorization on amazon.

√ Bleh, I don’t have time for this sh*t.

– Write 2500 plus words per week on my 2015 Nano novel til completion. (Only another 5-6 weeks to go on that, I think.)

√ Bleh, it’s done, as bad as it is.

– Participate in one flash fiction challenge per month.

√ Bleh, it’s still January. I did January already.

– Prepare and teach “Nano to Publish”.

√ Bleh, Taught the first workshop. Have given no thought what so ever to the second workshop. I better get on that.

– Edit my 2015 Nano Novel for 2016 publication.

√ Bleh, edited the rest of the chapters this week to finish my first soft pass. I have sent my novel off to my critique partner for his review by February 20th for the next workshop. But in reality there are already a four or five locations where I know it says “fill in some stuff here later” and I need to get cracking on what I plan to put in those spaces.

– Any time I am not actively working on my 2015 Nano Novel, write 2500 words per week on my spy novel until it is done. (After four years, it’s time to put this mess to bed.)

-Non Applicable at this time.

Non writing goals

– Prepare and teach two classes at the coop for the 2016-2017 school year.

√ Bleh.

– Take better care of my body, ie. stop compulsively painting, crocheting, and writing until my back or shoulder is so tore I can barely use either. Which leads me to …

√ Bleh.

– yoga daily.

√ Bleh.

Fiendish Friday(on a Tuesday): Sisyphus

~ tahenryauthoress

In Greek mythology Sisyphus was forced to roll a huge boulder up a hill over and over again while it rolled back down each time after all his efforts. He was being punished for his self aggrandizing ways. Maybe that’s my problem. I try to be too much.

Because I feel like Sisyphus. This will not be a funny Fiendish Friday. There is no humor in mudville today. I am wore. Wore by the sheer weight of my own failures.

We’ve read to our son since the day he was born. Not the occasional book when it was convenient for us, but every day, in an ever increasing amount of time. I’ve been teaching him his letters and the sounds they make for more than four years. This year we started our fifth phonics system. We spent August through December going through the letters again and the sounds they make. And yet this morning my son could not tell me what letter comes after D.

Yes, I have considered getting him help but the number of facilities which will see children with Autism Spectrum Disorders is very limited and we are on a waiting list.

My first book is essentially a flop. Oh, sure the 12 people who’ve read it liked it. But when I’ve sold 10% of average…that’s a flop.

Writing isn’t even fun anymore. It’s just one more boulder I roll up the hill only to be flattened by it as it rolls back down. I don’t see the point in spending the time, effort, and money on it anymore. I just create one more thing for my family and friends to do. One more boulder they have to roll up the hill.

My weight loss partner has lost twice as much weight as me. What more can I possibly say about this?

Every day someone has one more thing I SHOULD do. One more thing I should be doing for my son. Twelve more things I should be doing to make my book sell. If you just stopped eating x or ate more y. Just take this position on the board. Just go to this class. Just call ten more places that won’t bother to call you back.

And the problem with all “you should”, it says, time again, I don’t do effort. I am not working hard enough. I am not meeting your expectations.

Like my own expectations for myself aren’t flipping insanely high to start.

You know what you should really do….

Book Review: Mystery

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I had the hardest time trying to decide if Mystery by John Hamilton should be a book review or a weekend workshop. The truth is, it barely qualifies as either. 26 pages long is an episode of Scooby Doo which is what I was doing while reading it, cuddling with my son while he watched Scooby Doo. I ordered this book thinking it might be a fun resource next year when I’m doing Nano to Publish with the kids at the coop.

It was an extremely generic look at writing the genre of mystery fiction. It included such helpful tidbits as:

-Setting is very important…it almost becomes one of the characters if well written. No information on how to write it well though.

-Get your ideas everywhere, the hard is turning an idea into a story. No information on how to turn an idea into a story.

-Write every day.

-Don’t plagiarize.

-Characters: hero, villain, secondary characters. Give them flaws.

-Write dialogue that isn’t obvious. If a character’s been shot don’t have him say “I’ve been shot.” Have him say something unexpected like, “Take care of my dog.”

-Have your hero solve his own problems.

-Rewrite your book a lot. No suggestion to find others to beta read, line edit, or anything of the such.

-You’ll probably be rejected if you try to find a publisher but don’t give up, you have talent.

Oy vey. This book was certainly aimed at a younger audience but when I imagine my teenage self reading this, I’m insulted. It’s like giving instructions to boil water in a cook book. I heat the water, you say, until it bubbles, damn I never knew that. I want in depth explanations on how to make a good mystery work, not platitudes to paper the inside of my hamster cage with.

℘℘ 2 pages – I guess. I finished it so I can’t really call it a one pager.

 

Craft Workshop

~ tahenryauthoress ~ 3 Comments

Last Saturday was the first in a  year long series of workshops I am presenting at the North Bend library called Nanowrimo to Publish. I was so excited about the turn out. Even more excited about how far some folks drove just to attend, an hour plus in some cases. And about 75% of the participants signed on for the year.

The class/workshop/seminar, I really need to figure out what the bleep to call it, is really an effort to take people from point A, a lump of a novel that is a total mess after Nano, to a beautifully edited and honed work that increases the reputation of self publishing. And to do it in nine months. But I don’t aim high or anything. LOL

If you don’t live in the PacNW you’re missing out so I’ll give a bit of a run down here the following Saturday after each workshop class.

Yesterday we talked about the schedule, it’s pretty tight. By next month’s meeting they need to return their first pass critique of their partners work, which I assigned yesterday based on what people like to read and what they wrote and who was ready to send it by Sunday and who needed a week or two. It was actually easier to work out than it sounds. They have March and April to fix it all up and get it ready for Beta, integrating that first pass information. We’ll be helping with that and be talking about how to find betas, how to keep your family from revolting, things to do while your book is out to beta, etc. May and June beta integration. July, Create Space and Kindle. August Cover design. September final clean up based on ARC feedback. Not to mention we’ll cover blogging, marketing, and launch parties over the year as well.

That’s not too bad right? The truth is I publishing Scripting the Truth in eight months last year and while I don’t have a wide readership, I have an average of 4.8 stars so it must be at least decent. But I missed a lot of the critical marketing points and I now know better.

We also talked about critique. How to give good critique. It’s so important I’ll spend a whole blog post on that one alone.

Finally we talked about time management and productivity. There’s no better tool to evaluate your time management, in my humble opinion, than Chris Baty’s simple suggestion that you track your activities for one week in 15 minute increments and look at what you could cut. I’ve suggested an hour a day is enough to get you to published this year. I shared this productivity link, which is heavy, I know, but something on here will speak to you and that will help you make the most of your time.

Feel free to follow along at home and let me know how it is going.

Fiendish Friday-Imagination Run Amuck

~ tahenryauthoress ~ 6 Comments

The other day I was chatting with my friend G while our boys had a play date. G started telling me how her husband really likes Jersey and he never likes any dog. To which I reply, well Jersey is a good boy. G nods and goes on to say everyone loves that dog, everyone but M. M is her son.

I shrug and say, he’s afraid. To which G replies but he’s never had a bad experience with a dog, it’s all in his mind.

I immediately get a little warm in the cheeks and tell her about my morning experience with my imagination running amuck.

I walk the dog every day before my husband goes to work. Arguing with my son to go with me just takes all the joy out of the experience, not to mention he is slow as molasses. So occasionally I will cajole him into going to the dog park with Jersey and I, but I generally walk the dog before the hubby leaves. Usually this is super convenient as the hubby leaves between 845 and 9. Some days, however, the hubby has to leave EARLY. Really early.

Sometimes I find myself walking the dog at like 645 AM before the sun comes up. Now this always scares me. And there are plenty of things to be scared of on this mountain. We have bears, cougars, bobcat, coyotes, etc. But at 645AM in the pitch black darkness (no street lights on my mountain) I do not think of any of these things. I am checking over my shoulder, in every bush, and behind every tree…for zombies.

I shit you not. I am almost 40. Well Read. Somewhat well educated. I’m city savvy and farm functional. But the entire time I am walking the dog in the dark I am checking constantly for zombies and I am talking myself down in my head to keep from running home screaming. You want to know what I tell myself?

There has not been an outbreak. I would have heard if there had been. And if it happened over night in the nearest big city, we are too far away for them to have gotten out to us yet.

I am too old for the bogeyman. But not too old for zombies.

What irrational fears screw with your life?