Category: Home Life

That’s all I need, see how easy I am to please…

~ tahenryauthoress ~ 1 Comment

At the end of the day, as a mother, housewife, home schooler, soccer coach, therapist for a special needs five year old, and shoulder for my friends – all I really want is a little time to take care of what matters to me outside of my family.

oh, you didn’t know I was allowed to care about anything more than my kid? my husband? my home?

yeah, some days it feels like no one else knows it either. sometimes not even me.

Recently a family member announced he was flying up for the day. How nice, I guess. Except he picked Wednesday to fly in. Wednesday, the one day a week I get to escape for 3 hours to be the writer me, to recharge my inner self, most of the time anyway, assuming my sitter shows up and I don’t take my son to write in with me. But I digress.

I take care of everyone in my life, all day every day. And I do a damn good job. My house is clean, I cook gourmet meals most nights of the week, my kid has learned more in two months with me than he did in four months at school, he has play dates 3-5 times a week. Have six kids over all afternoon? Sure, this mom will always say yes.

I yoga daily, walk the dogs, and shower at least 5 times a week. (if you’re thinking ick, trust me I am a paragon of cleanliness in the home school world)  I won’t embarrass us all by going on.

So on the heels of this loss of a Wednesday, a loss of three hours of reestablishing my identity as a human being, I had to sign my son up for co-op classes for next year. There were really, really good classes on Friday morning. But Friday morning there is a write-in. One that I do not make currently because I take my son to the co-op for classes. What a choice to make: another 2 hour window of feeding my soul each week or my son’s education? I agonized for weeks about this. Plus the schedule wasn’t final for a while and I kept hoping some of those great Friday classes might migrate to Monday or later to Friday afternoon. It didn’t happen.

It was simple for my amazingly supportive  husband. “He’s in first grade, go to the write in.” I nodded my agreement but still I heard that little voice that says, to be a good mother you must give up everything for your child. That voice is right, when your child is a newborn, through say age two. Most moms have a second child which forces them to separate a little, to split their time and devotion. For others elementary school comes along and enforces separation. I have neither. So I must work a little harder at it.

I know there’s precious little humor in this post and even less about actually writing but today I feel like there must be more of you out there who struggle to balance that drive to write (or whatever your dream is) with the drive to care for those around you. You are not alone. My son will not go to co-op on Friday this upcoming year. If that makes me less of a mom, then I embrace that it makes me more of a human.

the lunatic is escaping the asylum

~ tahenryauthoress ~ 1 Comment

It’s Friday, for me normally, that would mean coaxing my son into 6 pages of writing/reading work, driving my son to co-op. Doing an hour of beta reading for someone while he has class, grocery shopping, then supervising some play date while I deep clean my kitchen. It’s big excitement around here on Friday, let me tell you.

But not today. Today I get to escape. woohoo!

Yesterday started the fabulous NORWESCON. This sci fi fantasy convention caters to the writing populace. My ever loving hubby actually took the day off work to pretend to be me for the day. Poor bastard. And I get to escape into the world of people who will talk about writing. And marketing. And being your own agent. And yes because I can, I am actually starting today off with a panel on Horror Classics.

Why not? I have a three day pass out of the asylum.

I need a caffeine IV

~ tahenryauthoress ~ 2 Comments

It’s just one of those mornings. Nothing really went wrong. But time was having a good laugh at my expense. And there simply wasn’t enough coffee, in the state to make it all work.

I’ve been staying up way too late in the last few days. I finished my novel for beta last week. I have six beta readers, which seems adequate but I could take one or two more (Deb?). But the void in my ambition laced stress caused me to fall into a Hawaii Five O binge. Yeah I know the show is mindless. That’s the point. Pretty, pretty boys, running around shooting guns and blowing things up. It smooths out my mind when I have brain hole due to project wrap up.

Immediately after that I began staying up too late to beta read the cutest little novel by a ten year old I have ever read. Trust me, people, this kid will be getting a publishing contract before I do. He has a quirky unique idea. Plus he’s a kid. YA is so hot right now. At least I will be able to say I knew him when and more over I introduced him to Nanowrimo. sigh.

So my new conundrum is this. While I wait for feedback I am planning to dive back into my half drafted spy novel. The one I worked on for about 18 months before I hated the characters so much I was forced to send them on vacation for a few months. Yep, 18 months and it’s still not done.  So I’m picking it back up. But should I plan to write it for Nano this year? (Third time is a charm?) Or accept the glaringly obvious truth, this spy novel is just not good nano material. If I plan to write something else this nano, I need to figure out what that might be and research it. And there’s the rub, what might I write this November?

Vast Expanse of Flatness

~ tahenryauthoress ~ 2 Comments

Have you ever had one of those days where you put so much energy and passion into stomping on the little fires that pop up everywhere that when it comes time to actually be creative, you have nothing left? The sign just keeps reading “Sorry, no faculties” (Hi, Sheri) and a vast expanses of empty flatness with nothing as far as the brain can see.

That is the sad state I found myself in this evening. And I didn’t even realize it at first. I blew off a lot of steam at the start of write in bitching about things that had gone wrong this week. Then I tried to edit, and that sort of worked but not really. I’ll be gong back after a good night’s sleep to repair that job. Finally I gave up and started to write my Wednesday night blog. Bam, blank brick wall. I found myself starting to write a laundry  list of excuses why I haven’t been editing this week. Seriously? That’s all you got? Give it up now girl. Pack it in and go home. The long, dark drive and some Jack FM always gives you ideas.

So that’s what I did. And I realized that all day I had been coming up with crazy ass solution to last minute problem created by other people, no wait, that was Tommy Lee Jones. But I had been coming up with creative solutions to little problems that grew on their own. LOL. I am an adult after all.

So where am I at? I so creatively got my son to wash his hands in a public bathroom at the mall today, that a perfect stranger paused to lean in and tell me I was a really fun mom. Yep. Handled that.

I have done jack all for editing this week. But that now matters not at all because there will be no ABNA this year. That’s right folks, if you haven’t heard, Amazon announced it will no longer be holding ABNA. Instead they want you to do KindleScout. Check it out, if you like. I am still in the air about it.

And really I don’t need to make a decision now because I don’t have anything to enter even if I wanted to do. I am still a work in progress. I mean novel is still a work in progress. Aw hell. The first one is definitely true.

Sometimes I just want to take the easy road

~ tahenryauthoress ~ Leave a comment

I must admit there are days where I just want to do what’s easy and say to hell with what’s right.

Some days the sheer effort to teach my son what’s right and why it’s important to do what’s right even when he sees people left, right, and center NOT doing what’s right, exhausts me.

Some days the never ending battles to teach him responsibility for himself and to others, to think before acting, and help him learn to make right choices seems like more than one human can handle. (Editor’s commentary, I do have a fab hubby who sadly works more than hour each way from home for a major tech company. It is completely understood up here when you refer to yourself as a “Company X widow”.)

Wouldn’t it be easier to just to let my child languish in school, even if it destroys his soul?

(Please don’t read this as a statement against those whose children are thriving in full day, half day, or other kinder. My son simply is not.)

I would have so much time to write and yoga and walk the dogs. My house would be spotless. I would cook gourmet dinners every night.

But then I realize if I was the kind of person who took the easy way out I would probably have very little to say that would interest anyone. In fact I think my novels would be as empty as my soul would have to be.

I start to wonder is it really that important that I write this novel? Does it really matter if I get this all edited and polished in time for ABNA this year?

And my answer must be two fold.

No, it’s doesn’t matter. ABNA will come again next year.

And yes, it does. I cannot model being a robust functional compassionate member of society to my son without something for myself. This is what I do for me.

I know this post had little to do with editing. As I was working this morning at the write in (which I left early to get my son from school), I kept thinking oh I should talk about this in my blog today. But when I sat down to write, this is what appeared on my screen. I did edit three more chapters today. I found a few entertaining typos, like begs legs. um what? oh, yeah, bed legs. Clearly my brain was ahead of my fingers.

As practically an aside, this morning at the write in we talked about my post regarding the nature of writing and everyone at the table agreed that their characters were all in control no matter what they as the author thought. One good friend even said that’s why she thought outlines were pointless. The characters always changed the direction once you got started.

I will share one of the lines I came across today that amused me.

“Oh.” There was little else to say to a pilot with one arm.

giggle. I don’t know why that amuses me so. Perhaps that my characters are as flawed as the rest of us and occasionally find themselves tasting their own toes. Maybe that’s it.

Yes, I know, I lied

~ tahenryauthoress ~ 1 Comment

I said I would post twice a week while editing and then I missed my second post last week.

I got sick. My husband brought home a nasty cold flu thingy on the plane after our Cali jaunt at New Year. Then he gave it to my son who, once ill, insisted on sleeping on my pillow until I got sick as well. The never ending joy of children.

So the truth is I haven’t written since last Wednesday’s write in. In fact I don’t think I even did any research while ensconced on the couch with tissue and chicken noodle soup(minus the noodles).

But I am now healthy (90% anyway and that’s as good as it gets for a mom). And tonight I got good editing in. Five more chapters. Only I’m a little worried about my time line. ABNA is going to open in about a month and I am still editing this mess for submission and I haven’t even started on my pitch. Oops. Ok. I got to get this together.

New plan.

Um……..

Yeah, I got nothing. LOL.

The reality is I don’t know if I can pull off another month where all I do is write. November was a lot to ask of my family. Another “gee, honey I need to do it again for the next three weeks…” I’m thinking no.

So where can I scrape out say an hour a day when I am functional?

I think I will have to stop playing on facebook while I drink coffee in the morning. I think instead I will edit like the wind. I know what you are thinking and you might be right, I might be a lousy editor before a cup of coffee. But it will beat all the editing I am not doing right now, hands down.

I won’t win ABNA. I am good with that. But I do want to get far enough along that I get feedback and to have any chance of that, I need to actually finish. Time for serious effort.

Talk to you soon with an update.

January, why did it have to be January?

~ tahenryauthoress ~ 5 Comments

Did you survive the holidays? or did you thrive?

I love a little stress, I do. Hence my Nano participation with glee. But when I end up pulling an all nighter at my father in law’s house the day before my Mother in laws’s celebration of life so I can finish my niece’s afghan for our Christmas that next afternoon…that’s cutting it a little close for my own comfort. But the afghan was beautiful. And I got a latte before I catered the reception.

Half the reason I was so behind was that I went to visit my good friend Missy for New Year’s Eve. I love going to her house. She has kids a bit older than mine and the second we arrive my son disappears upstairs to play with her kids. They all appear for meals but other than that we don’t see them. It is so awesome. Plus she and her husband have similar sense of humor to mine and my husbands. We play games, laugh too much, and drink more than is probably healthy. But it was New Years right?

I know what you are thinking. What does all this have to do with Nanowrimo? Not much. LOL. But after a cold yet dry week in Cali, we arrived home to non stop rain. And I liked it. So as I was driving along today I was reminded of the story I heard this year about why a rubber duck is the Nano symbol here in the Seattle area. I heard the story from someone who heard the story from someone who heard the story from someone, you get the picture.

Some Seattle folk had gone down to the University of Oregon to watch a football game against U-dub. At half time they noticed the Oregon duck wasn’t on the field and so they asked the animal handler why the duck wasn’t running around frolicking. The handler replied that it was raining.

And the hydrophobic duck was born that year as a nose thumb to U of Oregon. So now every November we all drag out our rubber ducks to each and every write in. Just in case you were wondering why….

In Cali we had plot ninjas. I prefer my ducks. There’s more scope for entertainment with ducks.

I have not written a word since the first week in December. My new mostly self imposed deadline is the end of January for completion. I want to take advantage of one of the winner prizes to get some hard copies of my novel published for free to give beta readers and that prize expires at the end of January. Stay tuned for updates in January twice a week.

Twas three nights before Christmas and all through the house

~ tahenryauthoress ~ 1 Comment

projects of crafting were screaming finish me on time this year.

Laughing.

Every year I plan for who is going to get homemade Christmas presents and how long that will take. The planning is critical because of Nano sucking up all my spare time in November. This year I was doing great. I actually planned to crochet a little during Nano in the thought that using my mind in a different form of creativity when I was too tired to write would actually revitalize me for writing. It must have worked cause I won Nano for the first time ever. And as a bonus I was obscenely ahead in my project plan.

That of course is where my downfall occurred. I though I could add a few things since I was so far ahead. Yes, I did it. I committed the biggest mistake project managers make. I allowed scope creep. And now I am hosed.

I already texted one family to let them know they would be getting New Year’s gifts rather than Christmas ones. At the rate I am going though, it might be Valentine’s gifts. LOL. Luckily they live in Park City, where it snows until June practically so they can still get several months of use out of their mittens even if they arrived in February. LOL.

So in an effort to light my stress fire I detail my situation here:

60% of an afghan to finish by January 1.

One mitten still to crochet and two sets to finish off ASAP.

Another set of mittens to finish by Dec 30th.

Two purses for my son’s little girlfriends by December 29th.

And one paint by number to finish by Dec 24 so it can dry and be framed in time to make it under the tree for Christmas morning. Yes I do dabble in multiple “just follow the instructions” types of arts/crafts.

Not to mention my son wants a purse for his own use and a set of mittens for his own use. He can keep dreaming on that one.

Sadly all this insanity means I have not written a word in two weeks. Two weeks I tell you. It must be a crime against the literary world to leave a novel starving to death for two weeks. I promise to feed it as soon as I clear off these little (snort) nagging projects.

Merry Christmas to you and yours. And if you don’t celebrate Christmas, happy whatever you do celebrate. Just enjoy the time with those you love. And get ready for a grueling run through editing hell, otherwise known as January and February.

A long, long time ago when I was not so old you know

~ tahenryauthoress ~ Leave a comment

Well that week went by in a blink. Yowzers. Where did the days go? Ok I actually know where the days went.

Monday night my Father in Law arrived for a week long stay. The week leading up to our annual Christmas Party. Now I am constitutionally incapable of throwing a simply party. If I have a party, it is a PARTY.

So while I spent Tuesday with my Father in Law helping him with the myriad of technological issues he builds up between visits and Wednesday on the couch reading an entire book while my FIL took my son out for the day (oh heaven).

I spent Thursday culling recipes, assembling lists, and shopping. I spent Friday prep cooking and baking. Then Saturday morning cleaning and finish cooking for the afternoon event. I made ten mini ginger bread houses so each child in attendance could make their own. I will never make ginger bread again. It is evil.

I made 6 dozen sugar cookies for people to frost. Three dozen melted snowman cookies for people to decorate.

Then there was the real food. Don’t get me started on that.

Sunday we rode the Christmas train from North Bend to Snoqualmie.

IMG_20141207_134637

It was our first time, given we haven’t lived here all that long. What a good time. Although my cookies were definitely better. LOL.

Amusing notes from the week:

Thursday morning was the first Parent Teacher Conference for the kiddo. He’s in kinder this year. His report card was completely what we expected and so was the conference with one notable exception. Apparently when they have choice Henry always goes to “write a story.” At this age they draw a picture and then make squiggles or some letters below the picture to tell the story. When I brought them home and asked my son to tell me the story with each one he did for the most part but then on one booklet he flipped through it, looked at his squiggles, and then said “I know I wrote this story, but I have no idea what’s going on in it.”

All I could think was, “you get that from me kiddo” and then “Future Nanowrimo winner, right here.” It makes me want to cry just a smidge. He’s always been a technological genius, just like his daddy. It’s nice to see him with a bit of me.