I’ve been thinking Thursday: Good Parenting?

Have you ever noticed right about the time you’re ready to send your child off to a military style boarding school they suddenly pull some amazing miracles out of their ass?

Seriously, in the midst of a heinous day of the kiddo acting like an extra from a zombie apocalypse movie (just replace “brains” with “irritate mum”), he suddenly pulls off a stunner of a twist.

He’s at his karate belt test. He’s sparing with a girl who’s his own level, they test based on belt type, so she should know everything he does. They’re the pair sparring closest to the mom zone. I can hear him coaching her. “You have to apply enough pressure to keep my elbow straight.” “They’re looking for you to do three taps to my arm before you punch my ribs.”

Warms my heart.

Then it goes on.

They’re doing kata. Now at their level, a black belt demonstrates the kata so they can follow along. But if they want a higher score (ie they want in to the coveted weapons class), they have to perform without a black belt leading. One boy volunteers to go alone. The sensei asks if anyone else wants to go with him or if he’ll have to be all by himself? The kiddo jumps up and says he’ll do it so the kid doesn’t have to be alone.

Oh, just wait….

When they finished kata they are supposed to stand at attention until everyone else finishes and they are dismissed. No problem this first go. But then a large group of kids get up to do kata without a black belt and mine goes again. He finishes and stands at attention. Everyone else finishes except one girl. She is clearly lost. Kiddo starts kata from the very next move she needs and she follows him to the end.

After the test is over, the kiddo tells me “I’m probably going to get marked down for not maintaining attention but it was worth it to help her.”

Well, damn.  Perhaps humanity is not lost.

No military school for him this week I guess.

Fiendish Friday: Actor?

Last Friday was the last day of co-op. I posted about that. And yes it was sad and yes I cried a little. shrug. I’ll miss those little pains in the bleep.

Anyway, 20th Century World History was my last class of the day. I was trying to shoe horn in a wrap up of the 90s, a circle back around to a speaker we had regarding Israel, and a hit and run on modern terrorism, plus a little presentation on the Bad Ass Librarians of Timbuktu – all in 55 minutes.

No, I didn’t make it. LOL

Anyway, I mention Dolly the cloned sheep, while talking about science in the 90s and one of my students starts telling us about how they are trying to clone a woolly mamouth now. Which I think is awesome but the student starts explaining how dangerous that is. And so I ask, what are you afraid they’ll pull a Jurassic Park next? Which of course he argues is already happening. So I say in total jest, you think I should drop my hubs and get with Chris Pratt so I can survive the dinosaur apocalypse?

Then entire class busts out laughing. Probably because Chris Pratt and their over hill the teacher is a hysterical thought. One student, however, says “You know he’s just an actor right?” like he’s not quite sure I know that.


Nope, still ROFL.

It will be 3.75 months before I get this kind of humor on a regular basis again.

Fiendish Friday : Boring

Yesterday an Amazon package arrives at my door. The kiddo is super excited. It’s weeks past his birthday, but each new box could be a belated present. This one proves to contain hair dye. He is not thrilled. “More hair dye?” he says.

“Well yes, I’m almost out of the various colors I use and I need to redye this weekend.”

He rolls his eyes.

“What you don’t like that I dye my hair anymore?”

“It’s just so boring now. You’ve been doing it for years.”

You heard it here folks, dying your hair five different colors on a regular basis is boring…

Wednesday Words 5.16

A couple of weeks ago I gave my writing class an in class essay to complete. They had a month’s notice to research and they could write any type of essay on any subject they chose.

I expected the papers would still kind of suck, I mean they’re 10-14 years old, this isn’t Pulitzer here.

Surprisingly, they weren’t half bad. Some were even quite good. One poor kid I have made rewrite his paper 3 times because he is so close to turning in an amazing paper. And not “amazing for his age”, but as in, any prof I had in college would give him an A for it paper. (He’s eleven by the way. Someday he will get a Pulitzer. He better thank me in his acceptance speech.)

So I say to the class as I am handing them back, because you have to babble as you walk around the room handing back papers, it’s like a rule, “Either I am an incredible teacher or you guys are naturally talented because these papers were really good.”

Instantly the smart ass says, “I’m naturally talented.”

At the same time another student says, “You are an incredible teacher.”

oh jeez kid. really?


Side Note: I am writing on book 2. It’s still happening.

The Little Man Turns Nine

My child is growing up. Technically he’s half way to “adult” this year. Seems mad. In some ways he’s more grown up than half the adults I know. LOL. On the other hand I shake in fear of him behind the wheel, voting in elections, going war. Gulp.

On a happier note, this year I bring you amusing things he has said:

“That’s just wrong. You can’t change the nature of vampires.” – after I explained the premise of Twilight to him

“She’s the same level of crazy as me, we’re a good match.” – about a new friend

“Why would we hunt a bird? That’s a cat’s job.”

“Do you know how expensive jet pack fuel is?”

“I think we should go to Greece, but I’m gonna need an extra suitcase so I can bring sacrifices for the gods. I don’t want my liver being eaten for eternity.” (Too much Greek mythology, clearly)

and my least favorite:

“Why would anyone read a book about that?” after I explained Ostrich Mentality to him. Thanks kiddo. Always a joy.


Fiendish Friday: “I hate rich people”

I LOVE teaching teenagers. I do. They are at this amazing time in life where they have begun to develop opinions about almost every subject under the sun. But they haven’t quite refined their thought process yet. So it’s often the funniest things that pop out of their mouths.

A couple of Friday’s ago, this one kid pops off with he hates rich people.

I say why?

“Because they have soooo much money.”

“And you want that money?”

“Who doesn’t?”

I manage to say, without laughing, “It is almost impossible to become that which you hate. Maybe you should try learning from them. How did they make their money? Where did they get? How can you do that?”

Drop the microphone, baby. Stunned teenagers.

But my subconscious didn’t want to drop the microphone. It started niggling me in the back of my mind.

“Hi There. Come here often? Anyone you might be hating on you could learn from?”

Aw man.

I started thinking about James Patterson in the shower the next day. (Don’t go there, when you have kid/s the shower is often your only refuge.) I refuse to read his books anymore. They aren’t his. He doesn’t write anything anymore. He suggests, someone else writes, he looks it over. I’ve been angry about that for quite some time. I liked his early books, the ones he wrote, rather a lot back in the day. But one could say, I kinda hate him.

The other side of that, he’s a household name. He’s got so much traction in readers, he can not even write his own books and they still SELL.

What can I learn from him?

He published his first book in 1976 (I was born that year, FYI). It took him ten years to publish his first five books. He releases a couple of more and then he starts a series. Popular series that lands him a couple of movie deals. He puts out a book a year in that series, while dabbling in a few other interests. Then hits on a second series.  Shortly after that he starts getting co-authors and his books per year expand exponentially.

What can I learn from that?

— It takes time. He’s been building since I was born (clock check – 42 years). I’ve been building for 3 years.

—- A series always helps.

— Don’t bite off so much I feel the need to get co-authors to keep up with publication. LOL Wouldn’t that be a nice decision to have to make?